William Farrand

Save Your Marriage With The Old Rock Songs



Posted: Friday, November 06, 2009

by William Farrand

Still Listening To The Oldies

I was a professional musician before I was anything else. Started out as a guitarist and then moved to the keyboard. Played for lots of casuals through the college years and in churches. Loved the music of the '60s, '70s, and '80s. Still enjoy some of the stuff that's coming out now although I think my generation's stuff is better. Sorry... couldn't resist.

My point is, there was a lot of love expressed in those old lyrics with a tune that could get inside you and make you feel downright passionate about your girlfriend/boyfriend. For example, Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing."

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

For almost eight years my wife and I lived apart. It's not what you think. The first two she went off to Illinois to work on a DMA in vocal performance, required by the university where she is teaching. The next six years my job took me to Canada and then to San Jose, CA. Our house is in Fresno is 180 miles south. During those eight years, we missed a lot of "things." I won't list them all, but a big chunk of our life is in little bits and pieces of weekends and special trips when we could carve out some time to be together.

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank god we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Marriage Help From The Oldies

Marriages that are ready to pull the plug and call it quits have lost the passion reflected in these lyrics. For a variety of reasons, hostilities have set in and emotional distance (even though your in the same room) has become the norm. The circumstances of economy, kids, conflicting schedules, and job demands have all taken their toll. Good marriage health requires taking the time to revisit the emotional connection of your relationship. So what do you do?

Did you ever have an "our" song? One that when you were first dating said exactly how you were feeling about each other. Get the CD or pull it up on the mp3 player, take a break when you both can sit and listen uninterrupted, and then play it. And just sit there listening to what inspired your relationship in the first place. Play it again. Then talk about what you were doing when you first heard it. Dig into what first brought you together. If there is anything left in your relationship it will get stronger as you revisit the beginnings of your journey together.

Don't have a song? Adopt Aerosmith's. You can get it anywhere. Not an Aerosmith fan? Just listen to it. Listen to the passion. You'll find if you have saved any of the memories of when your relationship was good, you will be able to save your marriage. -- wf
Wink Farrand has been a professional musician, a relationship coach, and a spiritual leader for the past 35 years. He writes a high content blog that includes courses and ebooks dedicated to saving marriages. He loves dating his wife and enjoys being with his family. Read his blog at => www.SaveYourMarriageResource.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
» left by Nancy Daniels
2 years 185 days ago.
68 fans.
William,
 
What 'sound' advice. I really mean it. That is a great idea. In fact you should do it even when your marriage isn't in shambles!
 
Thanks,
» left by William Farrand 2 years 183 days ago.
3 fans.
Thanks Nancy... It's one of the methods we use to help restore marriages on our weekenders. If a couple can get in touch with why they got together in the first place, they'll figure out their future from there.
» left by Paul Schroeder 2 years 183 days ago.
71 fans.
fabulous pun!
» left by Paul Schroeder
2 years 183 days ago.
71 fans.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder is a better song than outa sight, outa mind
» left by William Farrand 2 years 183 days ago.
3 fans.
Sure... very true. Definitely a song that's not recommended.
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